© Miles Whinfrey 2016.
A poem by Miles Whinfrey of Derby on a poem by
Thomas Deloney
Skit on ‘The tribulations around the self-made
Jack of Newbury.’
In 1597 Jack’s maidens served his clothiers’ business
ione born of wealthy parents, brought up in good qualities
Much time in the office
was comely, in full bloom
Serious minded
Bless her soul
But some might say a ‘plain Jane’
Don’t blink in love or business or you might miss it
Once Italian merchant made offerings of love
“I’ve no time for you,” she said, “Keep your friendship
to yourself… I won’t marry you.”
He was hurt
“You don’t have to marry me, visit me in the bedroom.
Shit on my bed, let me kiss you.”
She laughed
Sweet talker
This suitor’s knowledge of Italian C15th jokes on awkward
situation is amazing
I probably like him more than I could love him
I won’t hurt him
He lovingly handles cloth, takes it to see from in
The best light
Goes to a quiet corner to think, matriculate, comes
back strident
“If I can’t offer you something through conversation,
accept these four crown coins.”
“I won’t take them.”
Punishing him twice
If you or I had been there we would have hugged him
It ended there.
ione later met with an English nobleman called Benedick
He too was smitten
Work’s out the window or she’s been promoted
She’s crazy I’ll tell you that now
Heading for disaster
She wanted to rub him with the sweat of a mule
Car crash
Benedick and ione were lovers
They split
Strangely arguing over Italians.